Gratitude Day 31 - Perseverance

I don't give up! I fight! I remember the moment I "acquired" it. I was on the gurney in the OR corridor when I have this "feeling" or a voice.. I don't know what to call it.. that I need to fasten my seatbelt because it was going to be a bumpy ride.

Low and behold, my day surgery turned into a 6 day hospital.  But from the moment I woke up and realized what I was happening, I just kept saying I need to get out of this.  The nurse told me to press the morphine pump, I pressed but still had no clue how.  It wasn't until I went upstairs and the nurse's aid who had no clue what type of surgery I had turned me on my wound, that's when I started to have a game plan.  The first one was to not have anyone put any more bedpan under me.  Which means I will be walking to the bathroom.  The second one was to get up and walk the next day by the elevator.  I guess they saw me getting up 1 hour after being on the floor, they allowed it.  The third one was to poop.  If I didn't poop, no going home.  Let's just say that was a scene that I would never forget and I'm glad I was the only ocular witness to it.  I'm sure everyone else on the ward could hear me.

I persevered by having a main goal but focusing on completely certain necessary tasks to get me there.  I still apply that in my life and will continue to do so. I am just grateful I can decipher which I need to focus on to get me to the ultimate goal.  It's a work in progress!

Gratitude Day 30 - Life Lessons

Everything that happens in your life is a lesson to be learned.. good or bad!  You're running for the bus and you drop the content of your purse, I bet you're mad right? Don't be! You might have been spared of something had you been on schedule!  Someone invited you to a dinner party because they want to bring you out of this depressive state you have been living and you reluctantly went; there you met someone that has offered to get you in touch with people who can make your dreams come true.

I've learned not to get annoyed when things don't go my way and take it in stride.  Almost always, there is a lesson to be learned and remembered.  In all those lessons, there is always a blessing!

Gratitude Day 28 - Naivete

It doesn't matter how old you are, some things you are just very naive about.  That's a good thing!  If you know everything you might either get disgusted or get overly excited about them. I'd rather not know or understand that way I don't have to dwell it.  Like I said, SOME things.. not everything.  In some cases, ignorance is bliss for sure!

Gratitude Day 27 - Health

Looking at others, I have to be very grateful that I'm healthy enough to work, walk, eat, sleep.  Some do these tasks that we take for granted with great difficulties.  I will keep myself  in check when I complain next time and take whatever I have as a blessing.

Gratitude Day 27 - Hair

My hair took me back full circle!  I've always loved hair.  I remember when I was in high school, a friend of my mom asked me what I wanted to be and I said a hairdresser.  She gave me that look, a look of total disdain that it was the lowest of job.  She went on to tell me that it's not for me, I'll be on my feet for hours on end with demanding and disrespectful clients.  My mind was changed right way.

Now after going natural, I'm back full circle enjoying hair.  Mind you I'm not doing other people's hair but I enjoy talking about it with others.  I enjoy getting new information and passing it on as well.  I think it's a matter of time that I start doing hair again.  I'm not comfortable yet at giving someone an appointment and not being able to honor it because of some health issue creeping on me unexpectedly. While writing this, it just dawned me that I have just to take a leap! I've been able to stand up for hours now, I can do it! Yeah, let's do some hair girl!

Gratitude Day 26 - Music

I love music! I love to dance! I think music saved me from going into a deep depression after my surgery. I always have music playing all the time and I've often finding myself dancing on the bus, in the train, waiting for the train.. do I care? NO! I don't do anything drastic to end up on You Tube.. NO!! Just head bopping, shoulder snapping.. things of that nature.

To me, music is a messenger to the soul and it has spoken loudly to mine.  I can't see myself without music.  When I'm in a nursing home, make sure you put some music in my room or in my ears. Even if I won't be able to get up and dance, my eyeballs will hopefully be attached to my eye sockets and dance for me. I've been training them!

Gratitude Day 25 - Ability to appreciate

Not everyone can say that.  I'm grateful for the ability to appreciate.  Ability to take the time to appreciate!  I can't afford to take anything for granted; life is short and you don't know when that person or thing will disappear.  You have to appreciate it.

Right now I appreciate my laptop that's a year old today.  Had I not won it, I wouldn't be able to give the 3 week old one to my sister.  Mind you, I've been wanting to give her a laptop since she has her surgery because I wanted her to have something to keep her company while recovering.  I just couldn't do that for her then.  My sister has done so much for me from birth til now that I can never ever repay her.. I appreciate her for that!

I appreciate the comfort that my asics sneakers bring my tired feet.

I appreciate the blanket with the zipper in the middle that I can just slip in on cold days like today.

I appreciate Kiki my teddy bear that a friend gave me about 10 years ago, she has been the "filler" in the hallow part of my belly where I have adhesions to my floating ribs when I sleep.

I appreciate my heater from Costco giving me extra warmth in this cold cold.. oh so cold night!

I appreciate my big sister who has been watching over me like a mama.

I appreciate my cousins who always take care of me and always keep me laughing!

My list is running too long now!

Gratitude Day 24 - Creativity

I've always said and known I'm artistically challenged.  It wasn't until a few years ago that I've found the right word and accepted it too: I'm very creative.  Give me an idea, I will come up with something for it.  My friend Crystal and I used to be chatting for hours and hours coming up with logos and tag lines for fictitious companies.  I think I've saved some of them somewhere.  Our fictitious company had a very interesting name too LOL.. I am blessed with a very active mind, so whenever an idea is seeded in my head I will come with thousands of ideas for it.

Now that I'm faced with my biggest challenge, my creativity has been in a roller coaster ride.  I am enjoying the ride because of the limited resources I have to make it come true. But I am convinced that at the end, Mica and creativity shall win.  I'm just glad that I can see the big picture and focus on making it happen.

Gratitude Day 23 - My pinched nerve

Here I thought I was much better.  So much better that I had to run like a gazelle to catch the bus.  I felt something pulling in my scar and on my butt.  Since then I've been in pain.  I didn't know to what extent until I was leaning against a wall and thought something taped a ball on it.  I turned around, there was no ball! I touch my butt and low and behold, I had a lump on my butt.  My muscle was all bunched up because it was contracting so much causing the pinching of the nerve.  Needless to say that my pain level has been a bit higher than the norm but I know why now.

So I'm grateful for this knotted muscle because it's reminding me to take it easy.  No more running like a gazelle for me!  But that won't stop me from doing my "speed" walk and stomach "exercises".

Gratitude Day 22 - Facebook

No, seriously! I am! I've came across some fantastic people that I can call my true peeps.  I kid you not!  If it wasn't for Facebook, I doubt I would interact with them that much.  Also, during the time of the earthquake that hit Haiti in January 2010, I've built some strong relationships with a handful of people that I can gladly call my family!  They have been there for me during my darkest hours.  They kept tabs on me while I was sick.  Even came to see me!  If it wasn't for Facebook that put them in a path, I would not have met them.  For that, I'm thankful!

Gratitude Day 21 - Peace and Quiet

I love me some of that! Sometimes you just want to hear the noise from your eardrums and that's it! I needed that when I got home today.  Don't know why.   I stayed here quietly for a few minutes starting at the bare wall in my room and took a couple of sigh.  I felt so relieved.  I took a couple of deep sighs and that helped to free me up.  I so needed that!   I have to listen to the noise in my eardrums more often!

Gratitude Day 20 - Intuition

They say to follow your intuition, I always follow mine.  Only once in my lifetime that I haven't understood one but I'm still processing it.  It has saved and protected me on many occasions.  In hindsight, I wouldn't be where I am had I not followed it.  I'm not rich but I'm very content where I am in life. I haven't reached full happiness yet, but I'm counting on my gut feeling to take me there.  I believe I have the tools and plan on rely on them.

Gratitude Day 19 - Positive Peeps

I'm just plain allergic to BS.  When  you find positive people, it's so refreshing! I can feel I'm getting showered with goodness.  No joke!  I can sense someone's vibes and that's how I get my first impression always.  I love to surround myself with them because they help me grow in many ways.

I am very blessed to have within my immediate circles some wonderful, blessed, kind souls that I call my friends.. my peeps! May God continue to bless you!

Gratitude Day 18 - Sleep

Oh sleep! What would I do without you!?!?

Because of sleep, I'm behind again with this Gratitude Journey.  But because of sleep, I'm feeling a little better.  I have a day job, but when I get home I cater to my other job.  So by the time I'm done, it's almost midnight.  I have to wake up at 5, my internal clock wakes me up at 3:48.  I can't sleep!

So whenever I can squeeze in a few hours of sleep, I'm so grateful.  Lately, I find myself taking a long nap on Fridays after work.  I woke up feeling energized in the AM.. on a Saturday!  That's why I didn't blog!  

I just wish me and Sleep would go steady on a daily basis!  Let's begin the courtship!

Gratitude Day 17 - Common Sense

I am deadly allergic to those who lack common sense!  I believe when reaching a certain age, your common sense level should be higher that that of a 7 year old!  I'm going to stop there on that issue, that's for another blog.

I believe my intuitive common sense has guided me and protected me.  I like to take things, step back and process it before I act it... COMMON SENSE! I don't like to act impulsively unless again.. it's COMMON SENSE! I was blessed with it, I use it with every breath and will continue to use it.  I hope that God continues to fine tune it for me! 

That's all I'm going say about it because this can easily turn into a pet peeve entry! 

Arm yourself with it!

Gratitude Day 16 - Fear

Fear can be debilitating, but if fear is used properly it can propel you to greater things.  For the past few years, I've been letting fear be a hindrance to many things in my life.  I've always like to play it safe.  Not anymore!  I use my fear to weigh things out and make a wise decision.  I will no longer use it to say: "I can't do this! I don't have the resources to do this!"  No more!

I am grateful to fear for keeping me in check but you will no longer keep me idle.. no more!

Gratitude Day 15 - My scars

I know I talk a lot about my surgery but to me, it's a blessing and a miracle.  I'm grateful for my scars because they are a constant reminder to never EVER let this happen again.  To be so sick to the point of having your liver scrapped off because a rock was just adhering to it for God knows how long.

I'm grateful that I came out from it as a testament that God is great!  12 years of suffering with the same thing! These scars remind me to not let it happen again.  You're in pain, they say it's nothing, it's in your head, INSIST for further investigations.  Get another doctor's opinion.  Just don't take no for an answer!   You don't want to end up with permanent nerve damage like me but hey, it's a reminder to not let it happen.

So dear scars, thank you for embellishing my belly!

And I'm all caught up today with my blogging!

Gratitude Day 14 - Internet

As I was reflecting on what to write, I realize I've been on the net too darn long!  Gosh! Almost 20 years!  I wasn't even born yet!   During those 17-18 years, I've "met" some wonderful people that I've never had the chance to meet face to face but they are my very good friends! We have shared so many things!  I've watched their kids growing from afar and now some are grandmas and I'm still in my 20's ;-)

I am so grateful for their love and support.  I'm so grateful for their talent that have shared with me and help grow mine.  Despite the fact that none of us continue to nurture it, we are still linked through it.  That's what I call true friends!

For those that are helping nurture my current passion, I wouldn't be to do it without your constant reminder that I have made works for you.  I appreciate that you've taken the time to even try it.  You've given me the courage to go full throttle on this new endeavour! 

I hope 20 years from now, if the God Lord keeps me as healthy, cute and young as we are, that the friendship will continue to blossom into an even stronger sisterhood!

Love you! You know you all are!

Gratitude Day 13 - J-O-B

I'm grateful it gets the bills paid, food on the table and pay for my cracker (read my previous post).  I'm particularly grateful that I have learned a lot about myself in that journey. Let go and let God! Let me just say I've not being disappointed.  I will continue to put my trust in Him to guide me always.

Gratitude Day 12 - What I got

I don't have much but they keep me content!  I'm never someone who likes to go crazy on things.  Well, okay.. if you're talking about make-up, accessories.. I'm a girl! I'm not excessively cuckoo over many things. That's wh y I'm thankful for what I got.  They are enough for the daily routine I have going.  I don't like to live beyond my means.

Today I realize I am just satisfied with the things I have because they were just what I needed and can afford. I'm very grateful that greed was never something I'm acquainted with and doubt I will.  I know that God will keep me that way no matter where my life will lead me in the future!

Gratitude Day 10 - Patience

Thank you Lord for instilling patience in me!  This week has been an extremely trying week.  To make matters worse,  I thought I was "UP"grading my software but it only made a "DOWN"grade.  Some of my programs don't work like they should and I use them a lot.

I tried restoring, I tried re-installing drivers, NADA!  I forgot my PC for once is legit, so I contacted HP to be told what I thought I should re-try again: System Restore! OY!!! It worked for one program but not for the other.  I didn't swear, I didn't get mad. I just took it very cool! Mind you, I had a deadline to meet and I just couldn't produce anything!

I'm just grateful I didn't lose my patience because if you're patient, you have hope and if you have hope that's because you have faith! It all worked out at the end!

Gratitude Day 11 - Weekend

C'mon! Do you want to work 7 days a week?  Acknowledge the weekend people!  I've grateful that there is no alarm going off.  I'm grateful that I can get up at my regular time of 5, go to pee and not staying in the bathroom to shower. NOPE!! Back to bed for me!

My favorite time of the week: Friday at 4PM! Work is over, off I go to come to bed.  Me and bed we're steady!  Never cheated on each other! Well, I kinda do by changing bedroom ever so often but let's just say I practice polybedry?!

Back to the subject at hand, I am just grateful that I have a time to unwind. I've always make a point to have either a full day (which never happens) or a few hours where I do ONLY things I enjoy doing and relaxes me.  Therefore, you will find me on my laptop surfing away.  Today my precious time was sent HP support system. What a load of... I'm just grateful it's a long weekend!!!

Happy Thankskgiving Canada!

Gratitude Day 9 - Today

It's not that I don't have anything to write but looking back at this week, today has been the best so far.  My discomfort level was a lot lower than the other 3.  I ate without my stomach being upset.  I ate a tad more than the norm that's for sure!

I am grateful for whatever amount of comfort thrown my way and I'm praying that tomorrow is just as good if not better!

Gratitude Day 8 - Warrior in progress

 Life is what you make it! You can sit and complain about what's wrong in your life, say God doesn't care, nobody cares and just exist.  Or you can step back and say I need to get out of this situation ASAP please God guide me and fight your way out.


For  years, I used to complain and live through difficult situations the same way: dwell on my case and waiting for something to happen.  I used to say that God hates me, nobody cares enough to help me out.  Not anymore! Again, going back to my surgery which was a turning point for me.  A surgery that was supposed to last max 1h 55 mins, I woke up 5 hours later in excruciating pain with a soaked PK under me. Yes, I pee'ed on myself on the operating table because I had no catheter in. When I woke up, I found out that 3/4 of my stomach is covered in bandages.  I found out they didn't make a couple of holes but they had to cut me open, my bigges scar required 19 staples.  To make matters worse, the aid who just came in starting his shift, had no clue what type of surgery I had (the floor is a day surgery floor) and he turned me right on my freshly stapled scar.  THIS was the turning point for me.  I said to myself and to my sister that NOBODY was going to ever put a bedpan under my tush! One hour later, I was up walking to the bathroom to pee.

From that moment onward, I set myself achievable goals to get me to recover from something I didn't expect to happen as fast as I can.  I was determined to not let depression set in. So every single time something comes up, I do this: I stepped back, assess, ask God and try to come up with a strategy to get myself out pronto.  For example, I had a very difficult situation that I had to deal with, I said to God: "I know you don't give me things I can't handle but while I'm dealing with it just give me the strength and guidance to endure it like a warrior!"  Before, this amount of stress would have made me physically sick but I did go through it smoothly.  I always look back ONLY to see the lesson to learn.  I take that and move on.  That could be why I don't remember too many bad things from my post-op experience. All the memories I have are things I have learned from.

I fight my way through issues quietly and with lots of prayers always! God is full of surprises. For that, I'm grateful!

Gratitude Day 7 - My cracker

That's how I lovingly call my chiropractor, my cracker! LOL she can crack my back I tell ya! If it wasn't for her, I would still be walking hunched back.

Going back to my surgery again.. yes, that experience has changed my life in a lot of ways and you'll hear me referring to it often.  Anyhow, my biggest scar is right under my ribs so part of it is adhering to my floating ribs which make it very painful.  Not to say the adhesion to my muscle (the 2 right part of my buried 6 packs).  I was extremely limited because these muscles are always contracted.  Simple tasks like picking something on the floor, putting my shoes on, zipping my boots were just horrendously painful.

She was the 1st one who said that there was adhesion and immediately offered a solution: kinesio tape.  I was like go ahead! I didn't care, didn't know anything, I was just willing to try.  The relief was instantaneous.  My pain went from a constant 7-6 to a very bearable 3.  That tape changed my quality of life! I thought I was going to live with this for the rest of life.  Now I am not back to the Mica I was  but I'm 90% there.  I realize now I can't "big up" my chest but I can still "wine don".  Not bad for an old lady!

I went for a pinched nerve on my lower back, I found solutions for my adhesion and my neck.  I am forever grateful to Dr. Bourdeau!

Gratitude Day 6 - Values

During my recovery from surgery and going back to work prematurely, I promised not to judge anyone by their look.  I often get the dreaded look because I looked fine and healthy but didn't volunteer to give up my seat to someone who was more visibly disabled than me.  But last night, I experienced something that I can't help but judge that mutually ill behavior from mother and daughter.  My cousin who had a child very young and her child having a child very young as well, would not behave like that! With that said, let me stop there!

I am so grateful for the values instilled in me by my mother and everyone who took part of in my upbringing.  Please don't blame them for me being a straight shooter, "won't put up with your non-sense" kind of person; my mom tried to knock it out of me to no avail.  But everything else that you have had the chance to notice about who and how I am, they are responsible for it.  I consider myself to be a well mannered, well versed, well brought up, kindhearted individual.  Yet, I adapt to the environment I find myself in. My close family might stay I'm very strict with kids, got that from my mom and aunt.  I love kids! I don't want those who are in my family to be a bunch of disrespectful adults in the future.  As I told my niece, as long as I'm breathing, can move my limbs and my mouth, I will re-arrange her teeth if she ever mouth off at me or any adults.  You think she will forget as an adult? NO! I will do it if she ever does!  Even if we are adults, living in our own places, I still have a tremendous amount of respect for my sisters and cousins.  There are things I won't ever said and do in there present because I know they can knock me down.  I am grateful for the constant reminder in the back of my head.

Gratitude Day 5 - Ability to stand

Y'all must be saying: "Where does she get these subject?" Well it's my life! My life experiences for the last few years.

I went to Costco with my sister today.  I remember a few months ago, I had to limp my way to the back to sit down because I couldn't stand anymore.  I told them to call me when they were ready to pay.  My leg was tingling and hurting so bad.  Don't ever wish you have a pinched sciatic nerve on your tush!  That thing can knock the breath out of you!

Now I am able to stand! I am able to stand for a very long time! Every step taken, I praise God! I've been doing chiro treatment but it's not moving faster.  Through my chiropractor, I'm seeing a kinesiologist that has been helpful.  But I twist thing to my advantage: I love walking, I do a lot of that before winter sets in. I do my stretching exercising even when sitting in the train.  I'm even able to stand in the train! I almost passed out one day from the pain!  Now, I'm a standing champ! Well almost!

I am grateful for every pain free step I'm able to take!

Gratitude Day 4 - Rejection

What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

So sorry for not posting this on time, I took a very long nap!  It was during that nap that I had a dream which brought the subject at end today: Rejection!

Had I not being rejected by someone for whatever reason: job, love, partnership; I wouldn't be where I am today.  There is a lesson to learn in everything that happens to you in life, good or bad! Especially if it's a bad thing, your feelings are hurt!  But you have to let it go! Don't hold any grudges or resent the person that rejected you. Easier said than done, I know; you have to let it go to move on.  Believe me you will be grateful that things did happen that way they did because you were being spared, protected from something else.

Be grateful to those who reject you! Yes, their loss but give them a big thank you for not holding you down.

Gratitude Day 3 - Family

I apologize in advance but this entry is going to be in Kreyol.

Si se pat pou fanmi'm, mwen pa konnen kote m tap ye.  Se Bondye ki mete yo la pou mwen.  M sonje mwen antre lopital pou m opere e soti minm jou a. Bagay yo pat pase konsa, mwen fe 6 jou lopital.  Malgre tout moun te gin travay, yo aranje yo yon fason pou mwen pat janm sel pandan m te lopital e lem tounen lakay. Sa se jous yon nan bagay yo fe pou mwen.  Se zanj Bondye mete sou rout mwen yo ye.  Pou sa, map di yo yon gwo mesi!

Gin de moun tou ki fanmi'w min ou pa gin lien de parente ak yo pou jan yo viv ave'w.  Gin yon bagay ki di se le'w nan chimen jennen ou konnen kiyes ki zanmi'w.  Mwen ka di m konnen ki moun yo ye.  Mesi fanmi an wen yo!

Gratitude Day 2 - Pain

Yeah! You read it right!  I'm grateful for pain.  If it wasn't for it, I wouldn't be able to take walking, standing, sitting, bending, laying in bed and so many other things for granted.

I am grateful that I am not where I am in comparison to last year around this time or the previous year.  Last year, I was walking hunched back because of the adhesion issue I have from surgery and the acute start of a on going pinched nerve issue.  The year before, I was in pain not knowing what I have and thought all those debilitating stomach pain attacks were all in my head.  I'm grateful that my adhesion is MUCH better now thanks to my chiropractor who instantly acknowledged and confirmed there were a lot of adhesion to my floating ribs.  I'm grateful that I had surgery the year prior to get rid of that huge old stone in its rotten, hard-as-a-rock sack.

To be able to bend down and tie your own sneaker; to be able to clip your own toe nails; to be able to clean your own tub; to be able to stand in the train,  I am grateful!  And I know it's just the beginning of a better pain free life because I can appreciate the smallest tasks I'm able to perform!

Acknowledge the pain, appreciate when it's gone!

Gratitude - Day 1

What a way to end 2013!?!?

I have so much to be grateful for!   I thought it would be a great idea to spend the last 3 months of the year 2013 expressing my gratitude to God, first and foremost, and to anyone who have touched my life.

God has never faltered me!  He's merciful, kind, love, caring and giving.  He might not give back what you expect, at the time you expect it.  But he's always giving.  He might not give you what you want at the moment, but you'll find out later on that's exactly you needed.  He incessantly gives!  He gives without asking anything back!  How could you not love Him?!?

I have grateful for that selflessness!  I'm grateful for that unconditional, infinite love! He has surrounded me with people in my life whom I call living angels to ensure that I'm taken care of.  Not like a baby need a diaper change, but in a way that you will only notice later on.  Thank you God for putting the purest of love and caring in these beautiful souls.

What don't you start on the journey with me? Let's start with 3 months of Gratitude blogging and see where it takes us!